On my recently posted “What Life Will You Choose For Yourself” on The Change Blog, I received a comment that asked me the specific steps I took from being suicidal to now feeling joyful.

Indeed, you don’t go from rock bottom to living the life that you love in a day. It begins as a seed, a choice, and as you nurture it, it grows into a strong blossom tree of abundant joy.

Here I have broken it down into 13 stages I went through to go from suicidal to joyful. I still practice all of these in my life now.

1. I was kind and gentle with myself


After my attempted suicide, I was a fragile, emotional wreck. As such, I did not expect myself to climb Everest.

Instead I only asked of myself what I felt I could manage, even if that meant only making my basic meals for the day. If I could not do something, I did not beat myself up over it. Rather, I was kind and understanding with myself.

2. I did what felt good

Initially, this was watching Disney films that made me feel light and inspired hope in me that life could be a wonderful place where fairy tales come true. I love to cook so I baked lots and expressed myself creatively. I put on 2 stone in the process and I was at peace with that.

 3. I did not judge myself

It was hard not to feel ashamed for my attempted suicide and not to fall back into old patterns of self-hatred. These negative beliefs were destructive to my well-being so I disciplined myself to change these thoughts because I knew that what I really needed was complete compassion and love.

4. I saw a counsellor

She gave me the support I needed to work through my grief and essentially know that ‘all was going to be okay’.

5. I opened myself up to love

I allowed people I trusted (for me this was certain family members) to love and care for me. It is really okay to lean on people. One day, it may be up to us to support others that need our help.

 6. I let go


Releasing the old, makes room for the new.

So I let go of many old behaviours and people that no longer served my ultimate goal of joy.

I accepted that there are some things that we naturally grow out of, and that is okay.

 7. I was practical

After the necessary period of recovery, I found a job.  This was not the job of my dreams, but I was still working out exactly what my dream job looked like, so I just found a form of employment that suited some of my interests. This provided a healthy routine, structure and the financial security that I needed.

8. I connected with my heart

I realised the importance of living joyfully, and I slowly began to understand that the true gauge for this was in my heart. So I tuned in, and if it felt good and my heart glowed warm, I knew that was the path to take.

9. I began to seek


My job did not bring me joy (in fact it was horrific), so I began to search for one that did. My search (all on the internet) was vast and I hit many brick walls.

At many points I thought it was impossible and I wanted to give up. But I didn’t. Determined, I googled ‘follow your heart’ and the magical articles that I read lead me to setting up my blog.

10. I trusted

I took a leap of faith and, even though I did not even know what a blog was, because it felt good, I did it. I continue to trust that this is what I am meant to be doing, and that this blog will inspire powerful, joyful living in others.

11. I saw the cup half full

I talk as if my life is perfect right now, because I feel as rich in joy as a queen, but I still have challenges to face. Financially, I live very humbly in order to build up my (at this stage, baby) blog. I still grieve every day. I have strong, negative beliefs that still require much work. Nonetheless, I choose to see my life as truly blessed.

And now for the 2 last points that I believe are my magical beans…

12. I practiced gratitude all day long

This is without doubt a profound source of joy in my heart and it creates magic in my life. As is the Law of Attraction, the more grateful you are for anything and everything, the more you get of the ‘good stuff’. Furthermore, it does not matter if you have little, you can feel so rich.

13. I loved myself


Every second that I have spent loving myself has transformed my life more powerfully than anything else. If you do nothing else in this world, then make it this one. Love heals all and allows you to tap into who you really are, and where you come from.

The choice I made to live the life I love, I did not just make once and then forget about. I make this choice every single day; a commitment to myself.

No matter how low you are, know that, one step at a time, you have the power to transform your life.


So what is your first step?

With love,


6 Responses

  1. Hi Jess,
    Great follow up piece to your article on the chang blog! These are practical steps that anyone can follow, and I think it’s important to let people know it’s ok to do thing like watch Disney films, get help from a counselor, and reach out to friends and loved ones… all things I have done during my difficult times…

    1. Thanks Chris!

      Yes, it is very okay to watch Disney films – whatever makes you feel happy has got to be a winner! If you want to sing like Ariel or if you want to dance like Baloo – do it!

      I am really glad that you find these steps practical – that is what I wanted to provide. And also the knowing that it is really okay to take your time, one step at a time. I still practice all of these in my life today!

      Sending love to you,

  2. This is an interesting follow up to your Change Blog post. I’ve had my moment of severe depression before and I did some of the things you mention here. I’ve found that one of the important things is to be gentler on yourself. I don’t know if it was just me or not, but I’ve found that I depress myself because I’m hard on myself. Just being able to control my own inner thoughts and stopping negative thinking helped me get a better attitude and overall outlook on life. I guess you can say I was my own worst enemy.

    1. That is so true Steve. The difference that being kind, patient and gentle with yourself makes is tremendous. We would not be as harsh with anyone else so why are we that way with ourselves? We, just as much as everyone else, deserve our kindness and patience. We deserve to think beautiful, positive thoughts about ourselves.

      Thank you so much for sharing and commenting.

      Sending you so much love

  3. I am wondering how you recovered from ME/CFS to the point where you could work? I’m rarely able to leave the house. I did create an online support group, but am often not physically capable of doing much with it. I want to help others, just as you have, through the lessons I learn every day. I have moments of pure joy and those come when I reach out to God and hold on to His promises. Unfortunately, I still get swallowed up by the intense pain and exhaustion. It is different every day and so it continues to surprise me and knock me off my feet (literally). Your story has inspired me greatly. Any tips or insights you would like to share would be greatly appreciated.

    1. Hi Kristina

      Thank you so much for commenting. I really understand what you are going through. ME/CFS is an extremely debilitating illness and often so misunderstood. You so deserve to regain your vibrant health and pursue your dreams of helping others. I was going to write an article about ME/CFS and how I got better but there is no point in waiting – I shall tell you now.
      I read this book and did a course called ‘The Lightning Process’. This is a magical course that works miracles.

      I wish you the very best of luck Kristina and please contact me if you need any support/help.

      With love,

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