This is part of the You Can Change Your Life Series.

7 Surprising Questions To Help With Lost Motivation

Do you ever go through periods of feeling highly motivated and being extremely productive? You are waking up every morning fresh and energised, you are making fantastic headway at work, your relationships are blossoming, you are feeling great about yourself, you are increasing your fitness and you are eating insanely healthy food. Life feels as though it is opening up to you and that you are cruising powerfully downstream, aligning with all those things that you know are best for you. You feel committed to riding the positive wave and you know that you are tapping into the secret to a happy life.

But then, something happens.

You come down with a cold, you have a bad night’s sleep, you have a fight with a friend, you binge on some food, your work life becomes manic. Everything begins to slip, like an intertwined ball of string unravelling until you find yourself out of your positive routine and you’ve lost motivation.

That abundant free-flow-state is gone. It was all going so well and you felt as though you had it all nailed until one card brought the whole stack down with it.

So what do you do? How do you get yourself motivated and re-aligned? Ask yourself these questions and shift your perception back into the energy of abundance.

1. Are you being kind and loving with yourself?

When we come out of these vibrant periods of motivation and positivity, we can feel depressed, negative and lethargic. The last thing we need when we feel that way is to be berated by ourselves.

So let go of the self-criticism, be beautifully kind to yourself and wrap yourself up in self-love.

2. Have you congratulated yourself?

So often we are look for what is wrong; what we didn’t do, how we didn’t manage, how we failed, and we forget to see the full picture. Tunnel-visioned, we overlook the fact that we had a highly effective period in which we felt completely in our element.

Take a moment to sing your praises and do a little dance; you have been amazing!

3. Are you expecting too much of yourself?

When we are in those potent flow-states of energy and our eyes are alight with motivation, we believe that it will last forever. For the vast majority of us however this is not the case.

Embrace the peaks and troughs of life and know that, without one you could not have the other. Let go of wanting the ‘ideal’ journey and make peace with your uphills as well as your downhills.

4. What do you really need to do for yourself right now?

When we are not feeling in an abundant, joyful state, which is in fact our natural state of being, then something inside of us needs our attention.

Take the time to turn within, breathe deeply and ask yourself if you are okay. Listen lovingly to the answer and to what it is you can do to feel better.

5. What little thing could you start doing again, even if it is just for today?

Sometimes all we need is to begin. Without the pressure of having to do it all at once; the healthy food, fitness, meditation, work, relationships, inner work, we can just start with one little thing.

That one little action, or expression of love for ourselves,  begins a new trail of infectiously positive energy.

6. Are you doing what you feel truly passionate about in your life?

If we are not actually focusing our energy on what we are deeply passionate about in life then we will keep finding that our motivation wears thin. Is our work really fulfilling us, is this type of exercise one that we actually enjoy, are we eating food that we feel excited about?

Check whether you are engaging in activities that are exactly what you really love.

7. Does this truly matter to me?

We have a tendency to do things that society and other people expect of us. Whether it is working for a blue-chip company, being a dress size 8 or keeping company in certain social circles. Not all, and perhaps none, of these expectations are in fact requirements of our own personal happiness.

You are a unique and special ‘you’ so really question what it is that matters to you and what truly brings you joy.

Don’t let periods of lost motivation stand in the way of you feeling good about yourself and optimistic about life. Everything is a temporary situation; what matters is how you take care of yourself during those muddy patches, how much love you give yourself and how much you listen to the messages that your heart tells you.

What do you do to help with lost motivation?

With love,



6 thoughts on “7 Surprising Questions To Help With Lost Motivation

  1. Steve

    Such great questions. Oh, so often does motivation go, even when we want it to stay. For me, the biggest question is the one on being passionate. Am I passionate about what I’m doing? Sometimes I get off track and start doing things for the wrong reason. It’s not that I’m not passionate about what I’m doing; it’s more that I’m doing something passionate for some outside external reward. It takes a while to refocus it, but when I start doing something for myself and my own personal satisfaction, I find that the motivation comes back.

    1. Jess Post author

      So true Steve. Coming back to the source of our passion and why we are doing it in the first place, both empowers and boosts our motivation.

      Sending hugely positive wishes your way at this time and love,

  2. Peppermint Patchouli

    Thanks so much for this. My boyfriend and myself are both going through post-grad, young-professional crises. Money matters in both our families, their expectations for us, and our expectations for ourselves… it’s quite depressing. For me, I’m used to it, but am unhappy. For him it’s taken a turn for the worse, and though he’s carrying on, our relationship has taken a strain––the worst in seven years.
    He’s grown cold and says he’s disappointed with himself. He seems to think it’ll always be like this, and that he’s a failure. He says he doesn’t know how I could help, and he doesn’t know what he wants, except that he wants everything to be “relaxed.” He’s not the “weak” type either, not the way I am––I cry, confide in people, and ask for help; I’m a softie, but not him––and so I think he’s even more disappointed with himself for feeling this way.
    I miss my old, warm, best friend and boyfriend, and am myself feeling lost and hurt. We’ve been together since our early teens, and this has shaken me more than I can say. I want to help him, so badly.
    This weekend, I’ll show him this article, and hope to God it helps.
    Again, thanks. I’m so glad I stumbled across this blog. You deserve a beautiful life for helping people this way.

    1. Jess Post author

      Thank you so much for sharing. I know I am late in responding to this message – I too have had my own ‘things’ going on recently but am here now 🙂

      Your boyfriend’s learned expectations of himself are weighing him down heavily, so much so that he is confused and doesn’t know what he wants. No matter how he feels though, it is not your responsibility to change his state. Just love him and keep your own energy as positive, light and free as possible.

      I suggest that you get away from all the restrictions that bind you both – travel and see the world with free eyes.

      With much love


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